Budgeting for the Swinger Lifestyle
Making Long-Term Growth as a Couple a Priority
Sometimes our listeners and followers will ask us about the cost of engaging in the swinger lifestyle. They hear us talk about swinger vacations and swinger events and sexy outfits and toys. It sounds to some as if only those with a lot of disposable income can engage in swinging.
The truth is that the swinger lifestyle is just a microcosm of the rest of the world, which means that couples can successfully approach it within a wide financial range from extravagance to frugality.
There are certainly a lot of things that couples could spend their money on when they get into swinging! Club membership fees/dues, dating site membership fees, outfits, lingerie and shoes, hair and body maintenance, dinners and drinks, hotels, event tickets, sex toys, vacations and travel.
The trick to swinging without breaking the bank or going into debt is not trying to do it all. Wise swinging couples pick and choose what we will do, when we will do it, how we will do it, and to what extent we will do it. The other trick is budgeting for it (we know that doesn’t sound sexy, but the payoff truly, truly is). We started including swinger expenses in our budget years ago, which is one of the reasons we are able to take part in a wide range of activities now.
Frugality vs Budgeting
Being frugal implies being mindful of costs and selecting the least expensive option that still meets the need. Budgeting implies planning and prioritizing. Both of these have their place in the swinger lifestyle.
Couples can have fun engaging in lifestyle activities while being frugal by doing things like driving to a destination rather than flying (assuming that’s possible), using points rather than cash to book rooms and flights, traveling during non-peak times, meeting other couples for drinks rather than opulent dinners, and bringing less-expensive brands of beverages to swinger clubs, parties, and events.
Frugal swinger couples look at the event options and choose those they can reasonably afford rather than trying to attend them all or attend the most luxurious. Frugal swingers compare vacation spots and select the one that makes the most sense for the resources they have available. Swinging couples who are frugal select one or two carefully targeted memberships rather than signing up for all sorts of them, scattershot style.
Budgeting = Prioritizing
While “budgeting for swinging” sounds just about anything but sexy, reframing how we think of it as “prioritizing our sexual relationship” makes all the difference. And that truly is what it is.
We tend to plan & budget monthly for important things that we must prioritize in our lives like our homes, medical & dental care, education, retirement, groceries, transportation. But we also include things in our monthly budgets like fun activities, entertainment, gym memberships, online subscriptions, children’s lessons and sports, hair care, memberships and dues for organizations, hobbies, donations & charity, gifts, etc.
Sadly, what a lot people don’t include in our monthly budgets is the thing at the heart of our existence — our relationship with one another as a couple. We may neglect this, in a monetary sense, out of guilt or a sense that other things should come before we do. But, what if we re-arranged our budget to spend less on some things or omit some things…and replace them with things that benefit our relationship, including our sexual relationship?
Couldn’t the $25 per week we mindlessly spend on Starbucks drinks (or lottery tickets, or fast food, or hobby expenses, or whatever) become $100 per month we set aside toward a swinger vacation? Might the $25 per month online media subscription we rarely watch become a sexy club membership fee instead? If we found a less-expensive fitness membership, could the savings be set aside for a sexy event together later this year?
What if we prioritized our sexual life together? Wouldn’t we be building a basis for growth rather than stagnation as we move through the years together? Wouldn’t we be showing each other that we continue to prioritize the love that brought us together in the first place?
Think of all the things included in your monthly budget.
We’ll wait….
Now. Ask yourself if your long-term sexual relationship with your partner isn’t at least as important to your happiness and well-being as some of the things on your list. Isn’t it worth sitting down together and talking about which items in your monthly budget could be minimized, altered, or maybe even jettisoned in favor of setting aside some funds each month toward exciting fun together?
We don’t have to be rich to have fun in the swinger lifestyle, but we will be able to participate more fully when we prioritize our sexual relationship with one another as an important aspect of who we are and how we want to live, as a couple.
If you’d like to listen to us talk in more detail about budgeting for the swinger lifestyle, here’s podcast episode 79.
We are Mr. & Mrs. Jones, swinger lifestyle podcasters. If you like what you read here and want to learn more about the swinger lifestyle and/or We Gotta Thing, you can find our podcast episodes and much more at WeGottaThing.com.
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