Rethink Age as a Criterion for Making Swinger Connections
Age range is not the best or most essential basis for connecting with others.
I’ll never forget the time when, as lifestyle newbies, we received a message from a younger couple on Kasidie, inviting us out for dinner and drinks. As we were reviewing their profile everything was looking great. And then I heard Mrs. Jones gasp.
“She’s the same age as our daughter, we can’t go out with them!”
After a bit of paper bag therapy to alleviate the hyperventilation, we were able to discuss the idea more objectively. We decided to put the number aside and go meet them for dinner, with no expectations. They turned out to be a great couple! Later, after developing a connection with them, we did end up playing with them and also becoming friends.
We are in our late 50s and early 60s, definitely outside the age range specified on datings sites by many lifestyle couples. However, when people meet us face-to-face, age doesn’t seem to be as big of an issue. We’ve made connections and had great play experiences with couples much younger and older than ourselves, and the longer we do this “thing,” the less age seems to matter as a credential for considering compatibility with other swinging couples.
Here’s the thing: If we had stuck to our preconceived ideas of whether the younger couple who reached out to us was “in our appropriate range,” we would have missed out on meeting, getting to know, and having really sexy fun with a terrific couple of human beings. We do not regret meeting them for dinner and drinks that day.
Do you think you’re too old? Too young? Do you have a targeted age range for those you’ll consider dating and possibly playing with?
If you answered yes to these questions, have you thought about why? Some common stereotypes that might be holding us back:
- “Older couples are not very fit.”
- “Younger couples can’t possibly have a solid enough relationship to swing yet.”
- “Older couples and younger couples won’t have anything in common so a connection will be impossible.”
But these are social constructs much the same that “monogamy only” is a social construct for married couples…and look what the swinger community has to say about that!
There are many better reasons for eliminating couples from our dating pool based on ways we do or do not connect with them instead of embracing and being fearful of common generalizations from society. We focus on three things when looking for connections in the lifestyle: the strength of a relationship, personality, and physical attraction. If a couple that is younger or older than us has those three things, we won’t rule them out!
It is absolutely possible that two couples with a sizable age difference may not ‘click’ in a way that leads to sexual connection; however, it’s also possible that the two couples meet and it turns out to be absolute fire. Trust us. We’ve had it happen. The key is not ruling out the possibility before we even give it a chance.
We’ve learned to be open minded when it comes to age, size, shape, skin color and play style. Focusing on the people first opens our mind to friendships and play partners we would have otherwise missed out on and helps us expand our boundaries and grow as people. (It’s also led to some really hot sexual experiences).
We are Mr. & Mrs. Jones, swinger lifestyle podcasters. If you like what you read here and want to learn more about the swinger lifestyle and/or We Gotta Thing, you can find our podcast episodes and much more at WeGottaThing.com.
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