The Age Range Barrier in Swinging

How We Determine if a Couple is Too Old or Too Young for Us

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I’ll never forget one time we, as newbies, received a message from a couple on a dating site. They were inviting us out for dinner and drinks. As we were reviewing their profile, everything looked really great. Then I heard Mrs. Jones gasp.

“She’s the same age as our daughter, we can’t go out with them!”

After a bit of paper bag therapy to alleviate the hyperventilation, we were able to discuss the idea more objectively. We decided to put the number aside and just go meet them for dinner, with no expectation of anything more ever occurring. As it turns out, they were a great couple and we later ended up playing with them and becoming friends.

Oh, did I mention we were in our fifties at the time, dwelling outside the stated age range of many lifestyle couples on dating sites? We’re at the upper end of our fifties now, entering the sixties. However, when people meet us face-to-face, age doesn’t seem to be a big issue. We’ve had great play experiences with couples in a wide age range, some much younger than ourselves and some even older than we are. The longer we swing, the less age seems to matter.

Do you have a specified age range for those you’ll consider dating and possibly playing with, regardless of other factors that seem to align really well with you? If so, have you thought about why? If we won’t even meet for a drink or other non-play date, we can’t know it won’t work out well. We are just buying into assumptions and social constructs when we do that.

Some common stereotypes are that “older couples are not fit” and “younger couples can’t possibly have a solid enough relationship to swing yet.” There are so many better reasons for eliminating couples than those assumptions. Ruling out couples as play partners should be based on how you do or do not connect with them rather than accepting common generalizations thwarted on us by society. When we do that, we may be missing out on a great experience with terrific people.

The lifestyle is a (relatively speaking) small community. Eliminating large sections of potential play partners and friends based on age alone works to decrease our odds of making a connection with others in the community.

We decided long ago to focus on three things when looking for connections in the lifestyle: the obvious strength of the couple’s relationship (which may have nothing at all to do with their age), their personalities and how they mesh with our own, and mutual physical attraction (four-way connection).

Focusing on the people first opens our minds to friendships and play partners we would have otherwise missed out on and helps us to expand our boundaries and grow as a couple! We’ve learned to be open minded when it comes to age, and we’ve made fantastic friends and had amazing experiences as a result.

If you’d like to hear us talk more about our experiences with varied ages in the swinger lifestyle, tune in to Episode 60: What’s Age Got to Do With It?

We are Mr. & Mrs. Jones, swinger lifestyle podcasters. If you like what you read here and want to learn more about the swinger lifestyle and/or We Gotta Thing, you can find our podcast episodes and much more at

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Mr. & Mrs. Jones

Mr. & Mrs. Jones


We are swinger lifestyle podcasters and we gotta thing going on! Care to join us?